POPES, POLITICAL PARTIES AND PESACH

A new Pope has been elected, a new Israeli government has been formed (I think – but you never know there could be another crisis along the road paved with so many poor intentions!)… there are changes afoot in the world at large …



and I’m in my kitchen making Pesach.
This is the time of year when no matter what…Pesach has to come first.


The house is spring-cleaned- thanks to my wonderful daughters who left their husbands and babies and came to rescue me after I dislocated my shoulder … wot you forgot about that!!
And now we’re down to the real nitty-gritty a.k.a. chametz in the kitchen.
My husband still keeps hoping that I’ll find a packet of lamb-chops hidden away in the back of the freezer like we did once, about 15 years ago.


It was a small pack that my late mother had brought us  from England with just a few chops in – definitely not enough for all of our seven wonderful  children. And in any case, they wouldn’t have appreciated them… or so we kept telling ourselves.
So we gave them money to go out to the pizza shop and pamper themselves with pizza, ice cream, drinks and goodies …..and I cooked the lamb chops for our supper.

We did enjoy them – and the kids had the best supper of their lives.

So what terrible parenting sins do you  have to admit to – so many are committed during the week before Pesach

SHOULDERS ARE IMPORTANT

Yes they really are.
And believe me I didn’t realize just how important until I dislocated my left one over two months ago.

Fortunately  when I fell down the stairs my natural survival instincts took over and I shot out my arm to break my fall, thus saving my head.

At TEREM( that wonderful Israeli invention for emergency medical care) after giving me a quick shot of morphine, two big, strong doctors pulled and twisted my arm …until CLUNK:THUD  it slipped back ‘soundlessly’ into place.

That would have been fine had it stayed there…but when I raised my arm, it slipped out again…and we had to go back and have an ‘action replay’ of the whole thing.
After that my upper arm was strapped tightly to my body with strict instructions not to be moved for three weeks.

If you’ve never experienced anything like it then you won’t realize how frustrating it is not to be able to do so many things without help- from getting dressed to preparing a simple meal.
I did manage to maneuver my keyboard into a position that I could work at the computer.

I innocently  thought that after three weeks I‘d throw off the bandages and get on with my life…but it doesn’t work like that.
My upper arm had forgotten how to move…and it’s taking it a long while  to relearn. Physiotherapy’s helping a great deal but it’s still an unbearably slow business.



I’m getting lots of sympathy – and help…which is just as well with Pesach round the corner.
In fact there are some less-than-sympathetic souls who think I did it to get out cleaning for Pesach – like last year when I got double pneumonia between Purim and Pesach.

BUT IT’S  NOT TRUE – REALLY.


So that’s what I’ve been up to over the last few months.
What have you been doing?

Pesach (Passover) cleaning

In one corner lie mounds of rubbish (garbage if you’re reading this in the United States) and inside the cupboard shine the clean, empty, re-covered shelves, waiting to be filled with Pesach (Passover) products.

(that opened packet of crisps on the top shelf was my reward for all hard work. It won’t be there for long!)

 

Shop til you drop has  a completely new meaning before Passover.

OK I admit it, that pile is also not the most nutritious section of my shopping but it’s what was on the floor when I got my camera out!

Pesach cleaning is my nemesis. I love it and hate it. I hate the thought and the necessity – but I love the result.

And I know that without the necessity it would never get done.

For those of you not in the know, before Passover the house basically gets turned upside down and inside out swept and scrubbed, washed and wiped, cleared. and cleaned, tidied and traumatized – and I didn’t just use that word because it went well with the flow, but my poor house doesn’t know what’s hit it.

All year it’s left alone to gather dust and disorganization and wallow calmly undisturbed – and suddenly, without any warning, over a three week period around spring time it gets hit by a cleaning tornado.

The blessing of cleaning for Passover is that there’s a finite time – it all has to be ready by ………. well this year it’s April 18^th – after that ………………..too late.

Now if I had to rely on the vague possibility of spring cleaning at some time or other, it would never happen.

To all my millions of fans and blog readers  (after all my hard work I’m entitled to exaggerate slightly) I wish  you all a Happy Pesach / Easter.

Don’t work too hard – take time to relax and appreciate all we are blessed with.

This time last year my sister in Teaneck, New Jersey was homeless after a terrible storm. It has taken a full year of building, decorating and negotiating with insurance companies, but a few weeks ago they  finished the rebuilding and decorating.

Thinking back serves as a reminder that there are plenty of things far worse in life than Pesach cleaning.

PESACH TRIPS

If you are visiting Israel for Pesach or just looking for somewhere to go, take the children, grandchildren or your family visitors, try  some of the places below .

Zippori , situated in the northern section of Emek Yizrael, ( The Jezreel Valley) was the seat of the Sanhedrin in Rabbi Yehuda HaNassi’s time, and where he finished writing the Mishana. Much has been unearthed of the living areas of the Jewish population as well as the Romans who also lived close by .  Amongst the archeological findings is the famous mosaic dubbed the Mona Lisa of the Galilee.

 

 

If you have young children they will love nothing more than a day at Beit Halomotei near Givat Brenner. A complete wonderland of games, activities, train rides, bumper cars, water slides etc.

Hatzerim Air Force Museum near Beer Sheva – is a mostly  outdoor museum with  dozens of airplanes from Israel’s aerial history from the first Messerschmitt that was the sum total of the country’s air force  in 1948,  to the wily cobra helicopter that can chase terrorists through tiny alleyways.

 

Mini Israel, near Latrun  is a great place to get a miniature view of hundreds of Israel’s historical, religious, nature, archaeological   and tourist sites.

 

For more ideas see here 

Have a great time.

Don’t Take Anything for granted

Last night I was thinking and worrying about cleaning, shopping, ordering food and cooking for Pesach.

Now those “worrying” aspects of life seem more of a privilege than a problem.

This morning I woke up to an email from my brother in law in Teaneck New Jersey..

His name in the ‘sender’ box was already unusual.

Then I read the email, sent from his Blackberry, which went something like this:

“Tremendous storms over here. We've lost power and don't have access to email.Two large trees fell onto the house, and one of them broke through the front facade and roof. Water is pouring in. No one is hurt.

We have gone to friends down the road . They also have no electricity..If you need to reach us, send email to me (until my battery dies).”

I had to read it several times before it sunk in. I still didn’t / couldn’t believe it.

I quickly surfed over to the American news programs and read, watched and listened to the horrific stories.

Two men from my sister’s shul had been killed returning from Shabbat Mincha (afternoon) prayers when a tree fell on them.

Hundreds of thousands are without any electricity and it’s very cold .

An update later from my sister’s cellphone ( everyone has cordless phones which need electricity so we couldn’t get through to any telephone – another reason to dislike cordless phones) said that electricity probably wouldn’t be restored until Tuesday. They had returned to the house to see if it looked safe enough to go in and take some essential items for a few days /weeks ? Who knows.

tarp covers the house to save it from  more damage.

The important thing now was that the tree shouldn’t move any more and destroy more of the house. It had crashed through the roof, through my niece’s bedroom and down to the living room.

They were hoping to go further away later on to someone with electricity so they could recharge all their ‘communications’ equipment.

They weren’t sure where they would be sleeping – they had plenty of offers. They are still traumatized and are taking each hour as it comes

I felt so helpless and so useless. Apart from inviting them to come over here I couldn’t really do much else. But it’s not very practical. There’s work, school, college, and keeping an eye on their home.

I thank G’d that none of my sister’s family was hurt

I also thank G’d that I have a home to clean for Pesach, a kitchen to cook in and our own beds to sleep in.

We take so much for granted.

TEN THINGS TO REMEMBER TO DO BEFORE PESACH

 

1. Panic

2. Think of the number of rooms you have.

Then count up of the number of wardrobes /  closets /drawers / desks /  shelves / boxes you have in each room.

Multiply it by the number of children who make a mess ( are there any other sort of children?)

Divide it by the number of days until Pesach

.

3. Decide you should have started Pesach cleaning  six months ago.

4. Remember that in the ‘old days’, before Pesach, they used to just ‘shave off’ the top layer of their wooden table to reveal beneath it a completely clean unused tabletop Pesach.

5. DON’T try that with your dining room table that you were given by your in-laws when you got married.

6. Remember the Rabbanim say it is definitely wrong to dread Pesach more than Tisha Be’Av.

I’m working very hard on that one.

7. Remember, Dust is not Chametz and your children should not be turned into Pesach sacrifices.

I remember only too well how  I neglected my kids the weeks before Pesach  when they were young..

I just pray my children don’t treat my grandchildren so badly.

8. Yes, that green sludge at the bottom of your child’s ‘tik ochel’ was once up on a time a time a delicious sandwich.

Does it still count as “chametz”?

Who cares – you don’t really want to leave it there  another year do you??

9. Remember all new “olim”. There’s only one Seder night here. If you sleep through it, from  exhaustion,  there’s no action-replay the next night.

 

10. A couple of days ago my daughter asked me to go with her to a “ how to get organized” evening – she’d tried all her sisters and none of them were interested!!

“ OK” I said “When and where is it?”

Her answer ?

“ I don’t know I can’t find  the advert”

(Gimmee a break – that is just tooo stupid to be made up)